“A Room Is Not A House”
A letter written to the only true love in my life. Maryanne.
By Johan Bos
A room is not a house,
and a house is not a home when there's no one there.
Now and then, outloud I call your name,
and in my mind I see your face. But you're not there.
I reach out to touch you, and the hope becomes a flood of tears.
I look around my room and see a chair,
and through my tears I see you sitting there.
And again, I realize we're apart.
Then reality returns me to my broken heart.
My mistakes drove you away. Mistakes that hurt your soul.
I didn't know who you were. Your understanding I didn't see.
And now I'm lost without your tenderness and devotion that always covered me.
My purpose is no longer. Its meaningless goals I've abandoned.
I see now with my heart your value, character that was always present.
My memory has been reawakened to your delightful personality,
the personality so apparent when we met. I remember that day,
the sky opened and the ground shook.
The years and the world has changed us. Yet I still hold on to a dream.
A dream that seems to slip each day further from reach.
But hope remains. Its all I have in this lonely room.
My love for you has increased like I never knew possible.
A different love, one I didn't know was available.
Now that I've learned, through pain, real love, I ask,
please God, let it be that she's still in love with me.
Life is now vanishing.
For if a room is not a house,
then there is no hope for a home.